Change- Immediate Vs. Progressive

By Ray L. March 31st, 2012, under Building You, self improvement, Thought Provoking

Change, change, change.

Someone once asked why I am so patient. It took me a moment to think about it, but I quickly responded “most lasting change takes place at a progressive pace and not an immediate one.”

You may be scratching your head trying to figure out what that means. It is simple.

Yesterday, someone(s) won over $640 million in the Mega Millions lottery. What that means is that, overnight, that person’s life has drastically changed- forever. But, what really changed? Their mentality? Their physical state? Or their spiritual state?

Here’s a clue. Their mental or spiritual status was unchanged. So, now that they have all this money, they are still spiritually and mentally the same.

Now, that is not to say that they can’t or won’t change mentally or spiritually. However, those parts of them didn’t change overnight. I once heard a staggering statistic that three out of every four people that win the lottery find themselves in debt or bankrupt within 5 years. Why is that?

Money does not change who you are.

Money amplifies who you are. If you are hateful before you get money, then you will be more hateful after you get money. On the flip side, if you are compassionate before you get money you will be more compassionate after you get money. Now, I realize that this isn’t always the case, but it is more than 99% of the time.

So, like winning the lottery, when there is a sudden or immediate change, more than likely your mentality or mindset is still the same.

So, change that comes progressively(over time), gives your mind the opportunity to change as well allowing you the ability to handle the change.

Let’s look at money again. You are in the financial situation that you are in because of the decisions you have made- good or bad, over time. Over time, you developed a mindset to be in debt. Therefore, your mind is debt-ridden.  If you received a significant amount of money immediately, because your mindset is debt-ridden, in little or no time you will find yourself back in debt.Your mind has not been changed.

I was talking to a group of people the other day and asked them how many of them were in debt. All raised their hands. I asked how long did it take them to get into debt that were currently in. Most said it took them years. Then I asked the magic question, “What would you do if I gave you enough money to pay off your debt today?” What do you think they said? Let me save you some time. None of them said they would use all the money to pay off their bills. A few said they would use some, but none said they would pay off their entire debt.

Isn’t that interesting. Mentally,  they were still in debt. So, no matter how much money they received, they were in debt mentally and could not remain out of debt physically.

So, understanding that progressive change lasts a whole lot longer than an immediate one, produces patience. Although you may want a lot of things to happen right away, I encourage you to be patient and allow the process of change to happen in your whole person. Only then will you be ready for change and be able to handle it when it comes.

Change

Progressive Change is Beautiful

 

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The 6 People In Your Life

By Ray L. March 15th, 2012, under Building You

Every person should have at least 6 people in their life.

A Friend- someone to laugh with

A Mentor- someone that will show you the way

A Student- someone that will listen and learn

A Partner- someone to recycle love with

An Enemy- Someone who doesn’t like you and causes you to grow

An Echo- Someone who listens to your dreams and screams them back to you when you are discouraged and feel like giving up.

 

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**If you haven’t purchased a copy of my new book, please do so and let me know what you think.

 

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Jealousy?

By Ray L. February 27th, 2012, under Building You, self improvement

Jealousy?

Who has time to be jealous? One that has no focus. One that has no goals. One that knows not where he is going.

Jealousy is a silent cry of an inward yearning. It screams I need help. I want attention. I wish someone would see me for who I am.

Jealousy is cancer. It starts at the most subtle time in life and remains hidden. Yet, it continues to grow. Unnoticed. But growing. Neutral. But growing. Benign. But growing.

A jealous person is a stingy person. Uncaring. Unsympathetic. Insensitive.

Jealousy in marriage and other relationships is a deal breaker. It binds one party from being free and keeps the other occupied with irrelevant concerns.

Jealousy is one of those evils that stifles a person growth, ability to fly and be free, as well as cages one to the confines of her evil thoughts and un-trusting ways.

How can one deal with jealousy? Get a life. Understand that a person is with you, whether it is for friendship or other relationship, because relationships are a place of trust. A place of safety. A place of love.

How can one deal with jealousy?  Cope with it. Reveal it. Confess it. Deal with it. Overcome it. Get over it. Get rid of it.

Why is it so important that one recognizes jealousy for what it is and deals with it promptly? Because the cage that you try to place one person in maybe just be the place you find yourself in for life.

Be free to love. Be free to enjoy. Be free to trust. Say no to jealousy.

 

"Jealousy Destroys- You"

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Whitney Houston Dead at 48

By Ray L. February 11th, 2012, under Uncategorized

Whitney Houston Dead???

I can’t believe it. It is sad so sad.

My heart goes out to her family.

I think it important that we not start to speculate on what happened. I have been watching the news and am hearing some strange and disappointing assumptions. Sure, I think everyone wants to know what happened to Whitney Houston, but now is not a good time to guess or assume.

Whitney Houston had problems like the rest of us. No one is perfect. We all have issues. So, let’s not judge like Whitney Houston is the only one on the face of the earth with problems. Whitney Houston is a person that I believe wanted to enjoy love, life and happiness. On her way to those destinations, Whitney Houston took a few wrong turns like we all do. But, I truly believe that she was trying to do right and to get right. Did she ever get there? I or no one else will know.

Whitney Houston

During times like this, we ought to focus more on the good that a person has done and not the area they struggled in. Whitney Houston is dead. She can no longer right her wrongs, it is now in the hands of the creator. We should redirect our attention to the joy that Whitney Houston has given us and the good she has done.

“If we didn’t help her in life, let’s not disrespect her in death.”

Whitney Houston is dead. So, let’s celebrate her life.

I remember when I first heard Whitney Houston’s angelic voice. I was sixteen and emotional. I heard “I am saving all my love for you” and fell in love with her voice from that point on. Any and everything that she sang, became my favorite. I remember “You give good love” , “How will I know”, “the greatest love of all”, I want to dance with somebody”,  “I will always love you” and so many more. Oh, who could forget the “National Anthem?” No one will ever sing it like that again.

I also appreciated Whitney Houston’s acting and movies. Loved “The bodyguard” and watch “The Preacher’s Wife” every year.

Whitney Houston was a wonderful entertainer. Loved her and will appreciate the entertainment that she brought to our lives.

Thank You Whitney Houston. You will always be remembered and now have your place by some of the other greats Marvin Gaye, Teddy Pendergrass, and many others.

Let us all remember that life in these bodies are not forever. We have a short time to enjoy life and make a difference in other people’s life. Let’s take advantage of it. When you see someone who is struggling, don’t judge if you are not willing to help.

God is still good.

 

Whitney HoustonWhitney HoustonWhitney Houston

 

 

 

 

 

 

Whitney HoustonWhitney Houston

Whitney Houston

 

Whitney Houston we dedicate this last song to you…

 

 

 

——

Love, Life and Happiness and sincere honesty only at raylowensby.com

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Top Blogging Sites No One Is Reading

By Ray L. February 11th, 2012, under Helpful Hints

Top Blogging Sites…

 

Top blogging sites are everywhere. They come in all different sizes and shapes. There is one for everyone. There are funny ones and sad ones. Informative ones and novelty ones. There are top blogging sites for whatever subject a person is looking for. Yet, there are more top blogging sites than people interested in them. Let’s face it, most people don’t know that many top blogging sites even exist.

So, what do you do when you have a top blogging site, but no followers?

That’s the question that someone asked me this week. I was shocked, because this person actually has a couple of  good top blogging sites. They say relative things and do everything in their power to keep their information fresh and interesting. But, they have no followers.

So what do you do?

Let me ask you this question. If you were sitting in a 10,000 seat arena and everyone was there to hear about your new break-through study on creating rock-solid relationships. What would you do if you started talking but no one accept the 10 people in front of you could hear. Would you keep speaking or would you try to figure out why the other 9,000+ people couldn’t hear you? I doubt you would keep going or their “boos” and complaints would quickly get your attention.

That’s how it is with top blogging sites. If you have good information to share and no one is listening, you may want to stop speaking and find out what the problem is before continuing.

Here are 7 simple things you can do to get the followers to your top blogging sites almost instantly:

1. Know your target-Make sure you are talking to the people who are listening. If you were trying to sell ice cream, would you talk to people in Alaska or Hawaii?

2. Search Engines- Submitting your website and posts to search engines are a must. Millions of people depend on search engines to find what they are looking for. If you are not listed in search engines, how would anyone ever find you. Remember when we had the good old phone books? When someone needed a number, they searched the phone book. If your business wasn’t in there, then you were guaranteed not to be contacted. Search engines are the phone books of today. List your site if you want to be found.

3. Current Information-  I hate reading old information. If I pick up a newspaper and it has yesterday’s date on it, I don’t read it. And I am not alone. Millions of others are the same way. They will allow you a few days to update your top blogging sites, but if you haven’t updated it in two months, they will go to other top blogging sites. Top blogging sites are the newspaper of this age.

4. Start Local-  Friends, families, co-workers, grocery store clerks. You run across hundreds of people daily. Why don’t they know about your top blogging sites? Make business cards with your top blogging sites info on them. Order pencils/pens from vista print and hand them out. When you pay the waitress/waiter and leave them a tip, write them a thank you note with your blog information on it. Start local.

5. Keywords- What would someone type if they were looking for your blogs? Keywords are very important. If your sight is about babies, but you don’t use the right keywords then folks looking for the exact information that you are writing about will more than likely not find you. Google has a simple but wonderful keyword tool. Get familiar with keywords.

6. Networking- Do you know anyone else with top blogging sites? If so, why not let them advertise for you and you advertise for them? It’s free. If your top blogging site is about babies and theirs is about cooking, when someone comes to you about cooking you refer them to your friend. And when someone mentions babies to your friend, she will refer them to you. This simple technique works really good. Use it with about 20 of your friends and you will start to have lots of followers in no time.

7. Articles- Your post are like mini-articles. So, why not post them at article hubs? The great things about some article sites are they do most of the advertising for you and many people looking for particular topics will search there first. This definitely increases your chances of getting noticed.

These are just some of the ways that you can start to get followers to your top blogging sites. There are thousands of others but this will get you off to a good start. Remember, if no one is reading your top blogging sites, why write? Find out who your audience is and what they want, then create your top blogging sites to reach them and satisfy their needs.

top blogging sites

 

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You Are You

By Ray L. February 5th, 2012, under Building You

You spend years and thousands of dollars trying to change you, but let me save you some time- you are you.

One of the greatest things that we can do with our lives is accept the fact that we are beautiful enough, we are smart enough, we are tall enough, we are thin enough. We are just enough. And that is something that we should be proud of.

Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t try to improve. Not by far. What I am saying is that most people do what they do not in the sake of improving and becoming better for themselves, but compare themselves to other people and then trying to measure up. That doesn’t work.

You can only be as great as you can be. You will never measure up when you are using the standards of someone else. You are you and that is beautiful.

What would happen to this world, the society, our communities if we accepted ourselves as who we are and spent less time trying to change us, but instead we used that time and energy to help someone else, love someone else, feed someone else, and encourage someone else. That is what life is about.

I believe that life is not about indulging into reality T.V. or reading fictional magazines that tell us how we are “supposed” to be. But, acknowledging who we are and admiring the majestic hand of God that created us and take what we have been given to touch someone’s life. I believe that. Life is more about touching and helping someone else than it is about “me, me, me.” Some of the greatest historic icons figured this out early.

What would have happened if Walt Disney was only concerned about himself. What if Mother Theresa would have only felt the hunger pain in her own stomach? What is Martin Luther King Jr non-violence approach made him a hermit, which kept him at home? And what if Jesus would have allowed his Royalty to confine Him to the Kingdom where He was served versus bringing him to an earthly one where He served? Where would we be if these icons were wrapped up in trying to be like someone else or worse, trying to enjoy their own lives? We would not be where we are today.

Here’s is the bottom-line. Most of those people did what they did because the understood the word “self-less” and chose it over the word “selfish.” Because of their choice and sacrifice, people they have never met are able to enjoy life that they wouldn’t have any otherwise known.

You are you. Be you and use what you have. If you want to improve you, do it because you want to and not because someone else thinks you ought to.

Be you and live like only you can.

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Obstacles and Road Blocks

By Ray L. January 22nd, 2012, under Building You

How can Obstacles and Roadblocks be useful?

Pick up a weightlifting bar without weights- you won’t get bigger or stronger.

Jog a 300 meter track with no intensity or focus- you won’t get faster.

Take a class to learn material that you already know- you won’t get smarter.

Here is the point…growth comes from things, people, and situations that causes us discomfort. The moment when we feel like we don’t know what to do, when we don’t know where to go, when we have to step back and take a moment to think about “what next”, that’s when we start to grow.

This is why it is so important that we not despise obstacles and road blocks. Although, they are challenging, although they appear to be too difficult at times, although they can bring bruises and pains with them, they are essential for growth. I know…they don’t feel good during the process, but look back after the challenge has been completed or the road block has been overcome and what do you see? Growth.

So, next time things get hectic, next time you feel like a situation is tough, next time you have to deal with difficult people, instead of complaining- rejoice because you are growing.

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Wheat- Dangerous and Unhealthy?

By Ray L. January 15th, 2012, under Thought Provoking

Listen, I know you are not going to believe this, because I don’t. But I must tell you because it is my obligation to share with you things as I learn them. So here it goes…

Wheat is not good for you!

I was talking to a young lady a few days ago. She was telling me that she was going to be doing a class on health. And of course I am always looking for ways to be more healthy. So, I listened. She started talking about some of the diseases we have seen spiked in recent decades- heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, etc. Her next statement made my jaw drop. “Those things are all caused by the wheat we currently eat.”

What?

That’s right! What the so called nutritionists and health professionals have been telling us to eat more of is actually what is causing our poor health. No way! Yes way!

The author of Wheat Belly, William Davis, actually breaks down this reality. He is a practicing cardiologist. He explains how he slipped up on the wheat revelation accidentally while recommending some healthier living habits to his patients.

He talks about after suggesting some of his patients remove wheat from their diets for 90 days to see if that made a difference, that upon their next visit, those patients weighed 20, 30, and 50 lbs less. They were now diabetes-free, asthma was all but gone, and they had more energy. Of course, this caused the doctor to launch head first into a wheat research, and he found more than he was looking for. He discusses all of this information and more in Wheat Belly.

Do yourself a favor, pick up the book today. It is eye-opening and amazing. I am sold and will remove wheat from my life starting today.

* If you made a New Year’s Resolution to lose those unwanted pounds and maybe some belly fat, a wheat-less diet may be your answer. Get the book and you will see what I mean.

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More Great Websites

By Ray L. January 8th, 2012, under Uncategorized

 

Check out the “More Help” Page on this site for some of the best resources for motivation, inspirational, self help and much more.

 

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“Resolve” 2012

By Ray L. January 1st, 2012, under Inspirational

2012 is upon us.

What is your New Year’s resolution?

We have been asked that question a thousand times or so. Sometimes, we even ask ourselves “What is my resolution this year?” Then, we go about trying resolute (or resolve) something that has been a problem for us or something that we want to change to make us better people.

And, you know how the story goes. We work really hard for the first three months to make our resolutions a reality. However, by April, we resolute back to our regular selves, our normal routines, and our complacent lifestyles.

This year, I took a different road. Instead of making a resolution, I decided to just “be”.

What does it mean to “be”. Simply put, to “be” means that I will not “try” to do anything, I will not “try” to be anything, I will not “try” to make anything happen. BUT, I understand who I am, what God has called me to be, and what I should be doing. So, today versus making a resolution (or dreaming) to do or be something that I am not, I will just “be”. I will “be, me.

What about you? Do you know who you are? Do you know hat your purpose on this earth is? Do you know what God has blessed you to do and what He has called you to do? If so, then I challenge you to “be”.

Be just that- who you are and what God has called you to be. Nothing more and nothing less.

Let’s not spend another year trying to duplicate someone else, trying to look like someone else, trying to talk like someone else, trying to walk like someone else, or even trying to do what someone else is doing. This is ultimately the reason why we waste so many years of our lives. We walk down the road that someone else has paved. That’s not your road. Make your own road and see where it leads you.

“Be” who you are and don’t be surprised when the success you have been hoping for comes knocking on your door faster than you ever imagined.

It’s okay to “be” you. That is what the world is waiting on – you!

2012- Resolve to “be” you and only you.

 

 

 

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