Archive for the ‘Building You’ Category

Pill That Keeps You Average

Sunday, May 20th, 2012

Did you know there is a pill to keep you average?

 

More than 80% of the people in the world are on this

medication (pill).

 

This pill is free. It has no side effects (visible). It’s said

to be  safe.

 

Your boss and co-workers are glad that you take them.

 

Your family would like you to get off this pill, but they

are afraid of what “may” happen if things don’t work out.

So, they would rather you continue taking this pill versus

trying something that may not work or getting off the pill

altogether. Then, average would not be acceptable and

a lifestyle of trying various things is too unsettling for

them.

 

 

You, in the back of your mind, know you shouldn’t be

taking this pill. You know you can do better without it,

but you have been taking it for so long, you are kind of

“used” to it. Besides, its not that bad- considering.

 

Have you guessed what the pill is?

It is “Complacency”.

 

When a person becomes complacent, she stops looking

for new ways. She becomes conditioned to “life as usual.”

She knows in her mind that there are a lot of opportunities

that awaits her. She knows that she could possibly change

the world if she takes a chance. But, her mind and heart

have taken up residence where she is. She’s comfort-

able. Life is not great, but it ain’t too bad.

 

Complacency is the thief of creativity.  It is the barrier

to new ground. Whatever lies beyond what we know and

where we could go-  is stifled

or hidden by complacency.

 

Complacency is following the routine. Doing what

everybody else is doing. Becoming a clone in “Average”

society. It keeps us comfortable, yet uneventful.

 

We were all given a unique set of gifts and allowed the

opportunity to visit this world to share those gifts.  If we

leave here without sharing our gifts, it is as if we were

never here. We were never put on the earth to forever

“follow the leader”. We are supposed to follow the leader

until we have learned to lead, ourselves. And then, we are

to take our gifts and reveal things to this world like no one

else can. Besides, no one can do what you can. You are unique.

You have a special set of gifts that only you can share

with the world.

 

So, what are you waiting for? Get out of that complacent

house, shed those complacent clothes and get out of that

complacent mindset and make heaven proud by doing what

you were sent here to do- “Be you and share your gifts!”

 

The world is waiting on you. There are no more refills

on your average pills. Yesterday was your last day of

average. Today, you will do things like no one else.

Tomorrow, you will use your gifts and talents to sign your

name on this earth, because of what you did and shared

with the world, we will know that “You were here.”

 

Ray

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No Competition

Tuesday, May 15th, 2012

 


 

 

Everyone is made different.

Everyone is raised different.

Everyone has different challenges that they must

overcome.

No two people have the same abilities.

SO, why are you competing?

Why are you worried about the benefits that someone

else is getting?

Listen and listen closely…

If you are competing against anyone else but yourself- you

will lose.

Life was not intended for you to compete with others.

Life is for you to acknowledge and recognize the gifts

on the inside of you. Once you do, now it is up to you

to perfect them and spend the rest of your life using

them and trying to conquer an enemy that is conquering

someone else.

If you are competing with, concerned about or jealous of

anyone else- then you are wrong and missing out on the

greatest part of life- fulfilling your purpose!

 

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Your Goals- How Do They Look

Sunday, May 6th, 2012

Goals = targets or milestones that one desires to achieve.

We often hear people talk about goals. You can go anywhere and “goals“  or what people want to accomplish in life will be the topic of conversation.

Everyone has goals. Even a person that doesn’t think he has goals have them. Everybody wants to achieve something in life, be it good or bad.

So, if we are so filled with goals, if we have so many things we want to achieve, if our lives are plentiful and bombarded with goals, desires, hopes and dreams, then WHY are we no better today than we were five years ago? One year ago? Three months ago? Thirty days ago?

I suggest that we don’t really have goals. Active goals. What most of us call goals are nothing more than dreams, wishes and lucky charms.

A goal is more than hoping something will happen. It’s more than wishing you’d get a better job. It’s more than crossing your fingers, closing your eyes and tapping your heels dreaming you were in Kansas.

I know that sounds corny, but that is what many of us do. We get a thought in our minds and we sit back and wait for it to happen. Sadly, it never does.

I can tell people who are just dreaming and those who are really serious about reaching their goals by asking them one question. What does it look like?

People with goals, know how they look!

I was talking to one lady and she said that one of her personal goals was to get married before she was 30. “Good”, I responded. Then, I asked her what does he look like. She was stunned, shocked and everything else. She must have thought I was being sarcastic, because she walked away without answering. I quickly realized that she was dreaming for a husband, she didn’t have a goal to get one.

Let me help you understand what I am talking about. Say you are shooting a bow and arrow at a target. The target is the goal that you want to hit. So, do you know where the target is? Do you know how the target looks? Do you know what steps you have to take to get the arrow from the bow to the target?  Sure you do.

So, why is it that we say we have a target (goal) but we have no clue as to what it looks like or how to get there.

Most times we don’t get what we want in life because we don’t have the tools (bow and arrow), we don’t have a plan (pulling the bow back and putting the arrow in motion) and we don’t know what our target (ultimate goal) looks like.

There are millions of people who have goals that will never achieve them. I know some personally. As a matter of fact, I was one. However, when those same people included a few simple steps to their dreams, they started noticing changes in their lives, myself included.

If you want to achieve your goals, if you want to get more out of life than you ever have, it you want to be in a better place a year from now than you will today, then this is what you need to do:

1. Choose a goal

-This could be a big one or small one, just as long as it is reachable

2. Know how far you are away from your goal

-Identify where you are  and where you want to be.

3. Create a plan

- this includes how long it should take you to achieve the ultimate goal

4. Break the plan down into small achievable steps (milestones) with timelines

5. Celebrate every time you reach a milestone. Celebrate big when you reach the ultimate goal.

-It’s called momentum. If you celebrate the small victories, they will make way to the larger victories

After you reach that goal, don’t stop. Choose another goal. Then another. Then another. Until you are living your best life.

 

More Help:

Get Your Goals On Track

Set and Achieve

 

Know your target

Your Target

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Regret

Friday, April 13th, 2012

Regret is feeling bad that you tried or didn’t try something.

The problem with regret is that it is not fruitful. It serves no purpose. It just makes you feel bad and takes away time you could be out doing something else.

Regret.

When you try something that doesn’t work, don’t regret- just learn. And when you fail to try something that you should have, don’t regret. Learn.

In life, you will not always make the right decisions. You will miss some great opportunities, but that is not something to feel bad about it. You live and learn.

Regret is only what people with too much time on their hands and no will to try again do to waste time.

regret.

Try again. Try often. Try always.

When you look back on your life, make sure that you can identify everything but regrets.

 

No Regrets

 

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Job- You’re Working Too Hard

Sunday, April 8th, 2012

Job is where we all have to be, but guess what? You’re working too hard…for them!

 

Isn’t it amazing how many years we spend “on” the job? How much time we spend “at” the job? And how much of our youth, the job takes away?

That is simply amazing to me. How many of our good years we give to a job! Sometimes we don’t even like the job, we can’t tolerate the people, and we would rather be soaking in a tub filled with squid than to be cooped up at that place we call the job.

So, why go? Why do we spend our “good” years there? Why do we miss our children growing up all in the sake of being at work? Why do we miss our most romantic years to be stressed out, discontent, and experts in putting up with stuff and people we despise? Why?

We have to.

Many of us have never been taught the real reason for work. We work to live, but we live to work. In other words, we are on the job to feed our families and pay the bills, but the job is not what will give us “the” life. The experience that we get while on the job, should spill over in to our personal lives where we work for ourselves and profit as a result.

Here’s the bottom line…when we spend our lives “on” the job, we are doing a work that should prepare us with the skills and experience we need for our efforts that take place “off” the job.

 

Job ≠ wealth

 

It’s what you do off the job that will determine if you live abundantly or barely make ends meet.

Think about it…Maybe that explains why some people are the hardest workers on the job but struggle after hours, and some people are mediocre workers on the job yet they are living the life after they leave the job. It is all what you do off the job that will determine what kind of life you live. Watch TV from the time you get home until the time you go to sleep, and you will look around in a few years and wonder while you are in so much debt and can’t take the vacations you feel you should be able to or buy the things you like. Work just as hard after hours for yourself, and during those same years you will find yourself enjoying the good life.

Here it is in a nutshell, no one should work harder for someone else than they should for themselves. Because when it is all said and done, the same company that you have sweated blood and tears for will have a layoff and guess who will go? I have seen some of the best and hardest workers get laid off during the first round of layoffs. The sad part is, they walk away scratching their heads wondering what they will do next. On the flip side, I have seen some mediocre workers get laid off as well, but they were not scratching their heads. They put their full efforts in the work that came after the job. Some of them never returned back to a job, because they found success in what they were doing.

I like to encourage you to find a work, a mission, a purpose that is outside of your job. Put at least 50% (or more) in those efforts. Those things are what will bring you the life that you desire. They will be what you will look at during the end of your lifespan and feel fulfilled. Not your job. Your purpose. Your mission. Your passion. Those are what makes life worth living and the benefits are abundant.

 

“Work harder on yourself than you do on your job. If you work hard on your job, you will earn a living. If you work hard on yourself (or the things that you were destined to do, you will earn a fortune.”  Jim Rohn

 

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job

Get a Passion

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Change- Immediate Vs. Progressive

Saturday, March 31st, 2012

Change, change, change.

Someone once asked why I am so patient. It took me a moment to think about it, but I quickly responded “most lasting change takes place at a progressive pace and not an immediate one.”

You may be scratching your head trying to figure out what that means. It is simple.

Yesterday, someone(s) won over $640 million in the Mega Millions lottery. What that means is that, overnight, that person’s life has drastically changed- forever. But, what really changed? Their mentality? Their physical state? Or their spiritual state?

Here’s a clue. Their mental or spiritual status was unchanged. So, now that they have all this money, they are still spiritually and mentally the same.

Now, that is not to say that they can’t or won’t change mentally or spiritually. However, those parts of them didn’t change overnight. I once heard a staggering statistic that three out of every four people that win the lottery find themselves in debt or bankrupt within 5 years. Why is that?

Money does not change who you are.

Money amplifies who you are. If you are hateful before you get money, then you will be more hateful after you get money. On the flip side, if you are compassionate before you get money you will be more compassionate after you get money. Now, I realize that this isn’t always the case, but it is more than 99% of the time.

So, like winning the lottery, when there is a sudden or immediate change, more than likely your mentality or mindset is still the same.

So, change that comes progressively(over time), gives your mind the opportunity to change as well allowing you the ability to handle the change.

Let’s look at money again. You are in the financial situation that you are in because of the decisions you have made- good or bad, over time. Over time, you developed a mindset to be in debt. Therefore, your mind is debt-ridden.  If you received a significant amount of money immediately, because your mindset is debt-ridden, in little or no time you will find yourself back in debt.Your mind has not been changed.

I was talking to a group of people the other day and asked them how many of them were in debt. All raised their hands. I asked how long did it take them to get into debt that were currently in. Most said it took them years. Then I asked the magic question, “What would you do if I gave you enough money to pay off your debt today?” What do you think they said? Let me save you some time. None of them said they would use all the money to pay off their bills. A few said they would use some, but none said they would pay off their entire debt.

Isn’t that interesting. Mentally,  they were still in debt. So, no matter how much money they received, they were in debt mentally and could not remain out of debt physically.

So, understanding that progressive change lasts a whole lot longer than an immediate one, produces patience. Although you may want a lot of things to happen right away, I encourage you to be patient and allow the process of change to happen in your whole person. Only then will you be ready for change and be able to handle it when it comes.

Change

Progressive Change is Beautiful

 

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The 6 People In Your Life

Thursday, March 15th, 2012

Every person should have at least 6 people in their life.

A Friend- someone to laugh with

A Mentor- someone that will show you the way

A Student- someone that will listen and learn

A Partner- someone to recycle love with

An Enemy- Someone who doesn’t like you and causes you to grow

An Echo- Someone who listens to your dreams and screams them back to you when you are discouraged and feel like giving up.

 

_______________

**If you haven’t purchased a copy of my new book, please do so and let me know what you think.

 

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Jealousy?

Monday, February 27th, 2012

Jealousy?

Who has time to be jealous? One that has no focus. One that has no goals. One that knows not where he is going.

Jealousy is a silent cry of an inward yearning. It screams I need help. I want attention. I wish someone would see me for who I am.

Jealousy is cancer. It starts at the most subtle time in life and remains hidden. Yet, it continues to grow. Unnoticed. But growing. Neutral. But growing. Benign. But growing.

A jealous person is a stingy person. Uncaring. Unsympathetic. Insensitive.

Jealousy in marriage and other relationships is a deal breaker. It binds one party from being free and keeps the other occupied with irrelevant concerns.

Jealousy is one of those evils that stifles a person growth, ability to fly and be free, as well as cages one to the confines of her evil thoughts and un-trusting ways.

How can one deal with jealousy? Get a life. Understand that a person is with you, whether it is for friendship or other relationship, because relationships are a place of trust. A place of safety. A place of love.

How can one deal with jealousy?  Cope with it. Reveal it. Confess it. Deal with it. Overcome it. Get over it. Get rid of it.

Why is it so important that one recognizes jealousy for what it is and deals with it promptly? Because the cage that you try to place one person in maybe just be the place you find yourself in for life.

Be free to love. Be free to enjoy. Be free to trust. Say no to jealousy.

 

"Jealousy Destroys- You"

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You Are You

Sunday, February 5th, 2012

You spend years and thousands of dollars trying to change you, but let me save you some time- you are you.

One of the greatest things that we can do with our lives is accept the fact that we are beautiful enough, we are smart enough, we are tall enough, we are thin enough. We are just enough. And that is something that we should be proud of.

Now, I am not saying that we shouldn’t try to improve. Not by far. What I am saying is that most people do what they do not in the sake of improving and becoming better for themselves, but compare themselves to other people and then trying to measure up. That doesn’t work.

You can only be as great as you can be. You will never measure up when you are using the standards of someone else. You are you and that is beautiful.

What would happen to this world, the society, our communities if we accepted ourselves as who we are and spent less time trying to change us, but instead we used that time and energy to help someone else, love someone else, feed someone else, and encourage someone else. That is what life is about.

I believe that life is not about indulging into reality T.V. or reading fictional magazines that tell us how we are “supposed” to be. But, acknowledging who we are and admiring the majestic hand of God that created us and take what we have been given to touch someone’s life. I believe that. Life is more about touching and helping someone else than it is about “me, me, me.” Some of the greatest historic icons figured this out early.

What would have happened if Walt Disney was only concerned about himself. What if Mother Theresa would have only felt the hunger pain in her own stomach? What is Martin Luther King Jr non-violence approach made him a hermit, which kept him at home? And what if Jesus would have allowed his Royalty to confine Him to the Kingdom where He was served versus bringing him to an earthly one where He served? Where would we be if these icons were wrapped up in trying to be like someone else or worse, trying to enjoy their own lives? We would not be where we are today.

Here’s is the bottom-line. Most of those people did what they did because the understood the word “self-less” and chose it over the word “selfish.” Because of their choice and sacrifice, people they have never met are able to enjoy life that they wouldn’t have any otherwise known.

You are you. Be you and use what you have. If you want to improve you, do it because you want to and not because someone else thinks you ought to.

Be you and live like only you can.

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Obstacles and Road Blocks

Sunday, January 22nd, 2012

How can Obstacles and Roadblocks be useful?

Pick up a weightlifting bar without weights- you won’t get bigger or stronger.

Jog a 300 meter track with no intensity or focus- you won’t get faster.

Take a class to learn material that you already know- you won’t get smarter.

Here is the point…growth comes from things, people, and situations that causes us discomfort. The moment when we feel like we don’t know what to do, when we don’t know where to go, when we have to step back and take a moment to think about “what next”, that’s when we start to grow.

This is why it is so important that we not despise obstacles and road blocks. Although, they are challenging, although they appear to be too difficult at times, although they can bring bruises and pains with them, they are essential for growth. I know…they don’t feel good during the process, but look back after the challenge has been completed or the road block has been overcome and what do you see? Growth.

So, next time things get hectic, next time you feel like a situation is tough, next time you have to deal with difficult people, instead of complaining- rejoice because you are growing.

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